How about some good jokes?
A teacher asks her class, ‘If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you
shoot one of them, how many will be left?’
She calls on little Ralphy.
He replies, ‘None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.’
The teacher replies, ‘The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking’
Then little RALPHY says, ‘I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and ******* the cone
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?’
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ‘Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and ****** the cone.’
To which Little RALPHY replied, ‘The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on,’ but I like your thinking.’
LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH (Part 2)
Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
‘Why?’ asks the father?
‘The teacher asked ‘How much is 2×3,” I said ‘6′, replies RALPHY.
‘But that’s right!’ says his dad.
‘Yeah, but then she asked me ‘How much is 3×2?”
‘What’s the fu–ing difference?’ asks the father.
‘That’s what I said!’
LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH
Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, ‘Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?’
RALPHY says ‘Mas-tur-bate.’
Miss Rogers smiles and says, ‘Wow, little RALPHY, that’s a mouthful.’
Little RALPHY says, ‘No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a bl*owjob.’
LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR
Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day.
All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet.
He yelled out, ‘Miss Jones, I need to take a ****!!’
The teacher replied, ‘Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation.
The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’
Please use the word ‘ur-i-nate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.’
Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, ‘You’re an eight, but if you had bigger t its, you’d be a TEN!’
LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of
hands from those who could use the word ‘beautiful’ in the same sentence
twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, ‘My father bought my
mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.’
‘Very good, Suzie,’ replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
‘My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.’
She said, ‘Excellent, Michael!’ Then the teacher reluctantly called on
little RALPHY.
‘Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
pregnant, and he said ‘Beautiful, just fu–ing beautiful!”
LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER
Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
another…
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, ‘Son, you know
eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your
teeth, and make you fat.’
Little RALPHY replied, ‘My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.’
The man asked, ‘Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?’
Little RALPHY answered, ‘No, he minded his own fu–ing business.
I LOVE Little RALPHY!!!!!
By: Desert Dweeb
Tags: Bench, Correct Answer, Gunshot
December 12th, 2009 at 22:32
funny but almost sounds like a little johnnie joke.
December 14th, 2009 at 10:54
LOL ♥ everyone of them
December 15th, 2009 at 20:23
haha..
LOL
little ralphy the smart boy
December 19th, 2009 at 02:22
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.
As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, Vietnam, 1969.”
The other points his thumb behind him and says, “Dog crap, 20 feet back.”
December 20th, 2009 at 12:56
NICE LITTLE JOHNNY jokes
December 22nd, 2009 at 11:09
at first i didnt get the one about urinate but then i thought about it and it was funny all of them
December 24th, 2009 at 14:35
Do you make these up yourself? those are really funny.
December 27th, 2009 at 00:22
Those are little Johnny jokes just with the name changed to Raplh in which I never heard of.
December 28th, 2009 at 05:12
Ah thanks Canon, i always love your jokes, id say you are fun to be around.
December 28th, 2009 at 07:41
HAHAHA, those were all very funny!
December 30th, 2009 at 06:54
ha. it actually made me laugh out loud!
January 1st, 2010 at 01:06
And across the school PA system, we hear a stern voice :
:” Little Ralphy, if you are in your Math Class,, English / Grammar Class or out front on the Park Bench harassing elderly men,,,,
report to the Principle’s office immediately,,,,I have referral slips from 7 teachers her about your behavior, and you only have 6 at the school !
GET HERE NOW Ralphy ! “
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